Martina's Blog > Lifestyle > “You’re Not Falling Apart, You’re Falling Together.”

“You’re Not Falling Apart, You’re Falling Together.”


Barf… anyone feel triggered by that?

  I effing hated that shit. All the positive posts by people. Seeing everyone’s engagement, wedding, baby, vacation posts, while I’m spending my Saturday’s with my dog - binge watching Netflix, and having pity party’s for myself, while eating everything I could get my hands on.

  This was me a couple years ago. I was not in a good place.

  Anytime anyone said anything of ‘value’ to me, I got my guard up. I built my big old brick wall, and let it stay there. I would limited my time spent with anyone who would feed me those uplifting lines. I just couldn’t get on their level. I wasn’t the Miss Positive Polly that they were feeding me. Except, my job was ALL about that. I was a yoga teacher, who had rays of light and love shining out of my ass, right?!

  Nope. Not right at all - I was living under the dark veil of depression.

  You see, many people I know have come to yoga from a dark place. They feel shitty about something that has happened in their life (stress, anxiety, body breaking down, breakups, post-partum with baby’s, deaths, grief, job loss, moving to a new place and knowing you name it). It helps get people out of that dark space by moving the energy, distracting of breath, and grounding back to the body. And, if cousin Cathy did it, found herself in Costa Rica, and is now selling coconuts making billions of dollars, you’re going to want some of that juice too. Who wouldn’t!?

  This is why a lot of people want to become yoga teachers. They want to help people out of the darkness, because they see the value of the practice. Which is also why I became a yoga teacher. But, I was so frustrated seeing everyone else’s success and happiness, I couldn’t get on board. I was just plain angry. Can you imagine, an angry yoga teacher?!

  I did see the value of the practice. I could see what it did to my body, and how I could change my breath to change any moment, and how meditation could transform my thoughts. But, I was still not ‘feeling’ it after a while.

  I needed more, because I was giving more. I was giving so much to my students and clients, that I had no energy to feed my own fuel. I was taking away everyone else’s pain, but felt like I was almost absorbing theirs and avoiding dealing with me. So, I would crash at the end of the day, and binge eat food. I was just so tired!

  It wasn’t until I slowly started seeing the value of taking the practice off the mat, and mixing it with other mindfulness practices. You see, that was my issue. I was SO married to ONE practice. “But, I am a yogi. I don’t need to journal also, I do all the things.” I couldn’t fathom introducing one more thing to my to-do list.

  But thankfully, I saw posts on social by people I respected, and their positive experience with it. So, I thought eff it, I’ll write my stuff out. And thank goodness I did, because it snowballed from there. I started introducing other habits – nutrition, mindful driving, moving more, stepping out of my comfort zone, big time. I hired people I didn’t think I deserved to work with, and had them help guide me to where I am today.

  You see, at the end of the day no matter what practice you choose as your ‘therapy,’ you still have to face your shit. What can be challenging, is finding your way to get there. Finding what is your method that works for YOU. Sometimes, that takes a bit of playing around. But, I found my method and I want to share it with you.

  I’ll be the coach that picks you up off the bench, and comes up with your game plan. Let’s do this together. You don’t have to do it alone.

Bottom line. In THE FIRST STEP, I help you face your shit. I help you dig deep, and then build you back up. I help you out of that dark space. Want more? Head over to read more about the program.

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